August 4th, 2015

after all

A weird night and an unsettled morning

Generally, my sleep pattern is delightfully boring: I get tired around 10 PM, will sometimes read or cruise the 'net until no later than 11, and fall asleep only moments after crawling into bed. It's normal for me to wake up briefly every few hours, glance at the clock, reassure myself that morning (and the alarm) is yet hours away, and plunge immediately back into deep sleep. While I do have many vivid dreams, if I don't work to retain them they are all gone within minutes of waking up.

So last night was weird: dreams full of anxiety (usually it's adventure) and some difficulty working out what was real upon waking. Troubles getting back to sleep, and waking frequently instead of hardly at all.

Today I feel OK, not super tired as I might have expected, but my usual bubbling optimism is squelched by serious concerns that I'm headed in a foolish direction, and dragging everyone else along with me.