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A grey day of emotional disquiet

Today has been one after another of things which should upset me, and don't (or maybe they do) and things which shouldn't upset me, and do (until I think about it some more) along with an un-looked-for side helping of messing about instead of getting work done.

One thing going on today is that I've decided there just isn't room in my life for the hundreds of VHS tapes I've accumulated over the decades. A short eBay stroll persuaded me that there is no realistic chance of selling them - you can pick up copies of a dime - so I posted a listing on vashonfreecycle. I had four people respond, and two have already come by and picked up three or four shopping bags of mixed tapes. I hope the other two people show because there's still seven bags sitting here.

If I allow myself to think at all of what I spent getting those, or of how much I enjoyed watching them, it only leads to sadness. I know I'm not going to make the time to watch them again, and that the expense is balanced by that very same past enjoyment, but still the only way I've been able to give them away and be happy about it is by not thinking about it too much.

Another more troubling event is that our very old cat Cinders is on her last few days. Any morning I expect to see that she's passed away in the night. And today she's stopped eating even the hand-fed special treats we've been getting for her (mmm, salmon...). I know she has very little time left, and if we had all the options we used to have I would probably be pushing for the Last Trip to the Vet, which would upset her tremendously but at least there would be no pain. As it stands, I'm just not willing to spend the $130 they quote when she still clearly does enjoy sitting, being held and having her head scratched.

While this explains to me why I'm playing PocketFrog instead of compiling more info for the Girl Genius Cast List, knowing why doesn't really make it better. But I'm still gonna go check on my frog eggs after I post this.

Comments

sff_corgi
Jun. 29th, 2011 01:06 pm (UTC)
[another hug]

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after all
alicebentley
Alice Bentley

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