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A grey day of emotional disquiet

Today has been one after another of things which should upset me, and don't (or maybe they do) and things which shouldn't upset me, and do (until I think about it some more) along with an un-looked-for side helping of messing about instead of getting work done.

One thing going on today is that I've decided there just isn't room in my life for the hundreds of VHS tapes I've accumulated over the decades. A short eBay stroll persuaded me that there is no realistic chance of selling them - you can pick up copies of a dime - so I posted a listing on vashonfreecycle. I had four people respond, and two have already come by and picked up three or four shopping bags of mixed tapes. I hope the other two people show because there's still seven bags sitting here.

If I allow myself to think at all of what I spent getting those, or of how much I enjoyed watching them, it only leads to sadness. I know I'm not going to make the time to watch them again, and that the expense is balanced by that very same past enjoyment, but still the only way I've been able to give them away and be happy about it is by not thinking about it too much.

Another more troubling event is that our very old cat Cinders is on her last few days. Any morning I expect to see that she's passed away in the night. And today she's stopped eating even the hand-fed special treats we've been getting for her (mmm, salmon...). I know she has very little time left, and if we had all the options we used to have I would probably be pushing for the Last Trip to the Vet, which would upset her tremendously but at least there would be no pain. As it stands, I'm just not willing to spend the $130 they quote when she still clearly does enjoy sitting, being held and having her head scratched.

While this explains to me why I'm playing PocketFrog instead of compiling more info for the Girl Genius Cast List, knowing why doesn't really make it better. But I'm still gonna go check on my frog eggs after I post this.


Jun. 29th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC)
So sorry to hear about your cat.
Our old dog is getting there, too, so I know what you're going thru.

We moved all our VHS tapes into the attic when our player broke. The reason for not getting rid of them is we're watching for another player at Goodwill, and then are going to transfer them to the computer. That's been the plan for 2 years... sigh... maybe we should freecycle them.
Jul. 2nd, 2011 01:07 am (UTC)
Mary, we have a VHS player that works that we don't use. I will send it to you via Tullio.

Alice, I'm right there with you. Looking at my vast collection of books seriously bums me out - both because I spent so much $$ accumulating them and also because I just don't care about re-reading them anymore. It seems like such a huge waste. I'm starting to feel like all of my possessions are "owning" me, rather than the other way around. And regarding the cat - oh man, I'm just so sorry. I know that Cinders has passed on to her great reward, but still, cut yourself some slack: you did all you could with what you had for the cat. She knew the score. {love you}


after all
Alice Bentley

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